Notes:
One of the most commonly asked questions regarding domestic violence is “Why do women stay in abusive relationships?” It may be more appropriate, however, to examine the question “Why do men abuse the people they say they love? Hopefully the answer to this question is being formed through our discussion on causes and definitions of abuse. To further understand the dynamics let’s look at the phases of abuse and the use of power and control.
Draw a triangle and label the left side phase # 1, tension building, the right side the sorrow or honeymoon phase and the top, the acute battering phase.
While talking about the tension building phase pull out examples from the definitions of abuse notes, focus on emotional, sexual and psychological. Discuss how this leads to the acute battering phase and then go into the importance of the sorrow phase in creating the illusion that the abuse will never happen again therefore persuading the victim to stay. This leads into a discussion of power and control. Use the power and control information found on the Dynamics of Domestic Violence handout. Make the connection between abuse being the systematic pattern of behaviors that are used to gain power and control over another in a relationship. Pull together all of the dynamics and you are ready to begin a discussion of why women stay in abusive relationships